In love or In Crisis?

According to the UK charity Relate's latest report, almost one in five (18%) couples in the UK argue regularly or consider separating. These people were described as being in "distressed relationships". The figure for parents of children under 16 was higher at 22%.

Most relationships will hit problems sooner or later. That is normal. But it can be very distressing when the same problems keep copping up or get worse so that the loving relationship which once brought you joy now brings you hurt and stress.

One of the issues highlighted by the report was that couples don't seek help or if they do, they wait until it is too late to save the relationship. I think it can be particularly hard when only one partner recognises that there is a problem or is prepared to seek help.

So, how can we be authentic about any issues in our relationship? Here are a few thoughts:

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Q&A (12): Letting go

Dear Sarah,

My fear (which hit me recently) is that my baby is growing up and moving forward in leaps and bounds. Each day I see her grow, become more independent and getting excited about college and her future plans. It feels strange... as she needs me less and less. I try to imagine my life and what it will be like no longer being a full on mum. I guess what is also scary is that I'm going to have to watch her make mistakes and find her way, knowing I need to let go and not interfere even if I see it coming! How do you do that?

Love Jill.

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How to have great arguments in 5 simple ways

David and I had been married nearly two years before we had our first argument. That might sound impressive but really it was quite the opposite. My problem was that I struggled to express negative emotions and I feared arguments whilst David walked on eggshells trying not to upset me. It wasn’t a healthy state of affairs.

Whether it comes a day, a month or a year into any relationship – the first argument can be unsettling. I can’t even remember what ours was about but I do know it was something very trivial regarding D.I.Y and I do recall David looking a bit surprised as I shouted at him whilst running crying down the stairs.

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