In love or In Crisis?

According to the UK charity Relate's latest report, almost one in five (18%) couples in the UK argue regularly or consider separating. These people were described as being in "distressed relationships". The figure for parents of children under 16 was higher at 22%.

Most relationships will hit problems sooner or later. That is normal. But it can be very distressing when the same problems keep copping up or get worse so that the loving relationship which once brought you joy now brings you hurt and stress.

One of the issues highlighted by the report was that couples don't seek help or if they do, they wait until it is too late to save the relationship. I think it can be particularly hard when only one partner recognises that there is a problem or is prepared to seek help.

So, how can we be authentic about any issues in our relationship? Here are a few thoughts:

Read More

How to have great arguments in 5 simple ways

David and I had been married nearly two years before we had our first argument. That might sound impressive but really it was quite the opposite. My problem was that I struggled to express negative emotions and I feared arguments whilst David walked on eggshells trying not to upset me. It wasn’t a healthy state of affairs.

Whether it comes a day, a month or a year into any relationship – the first argument can be unsettling. I can’t even remember what ours was about but I do know it was something very trivial regarding D.I.Y and I do recall David looking a bit surprised as I shouted at him whilst running crying down the stairs.

Read More

What is hiding under your bed?

My son is six. He often wakes with nightmares and doesn't like it if his room his too dark. He imagines the monsters under his bed and believes that they are getting ready to pounce when Mummy and Daddy are gone. It is a story he is making up in his head but it feels very real and creates the feeling of fear.

As adults, we also make up stories and we too feel the fear and anxiety that goes with those stories. What are your monsters? What are the stories you are telling yourself that are leading you to feel afraid or anxious or are holding you back?

Read More