Q&A (6) : How to make that exciting move to the city

Dear Sarah,

I am 25 and have recently moved to London for work. I come from a relatively small community in the North of England and I am finding the transition very difficult. I am living in a small studio flat on my own and my job as a trainee solicitor involves me working long hours.

I am finding my new existence very lonely. I didn’t know anyone in the city before I arrived and although my colleagues at work are nice enough, they don’t seem to socialise with each other. I haven’t met any neighbours apart from a couple upstairs with a noisy baby but they always seem too tired or stressed to stop to talk.

I really miss my friends and family. My plan is to go back once every two months for a weekend and I spend a lot of my free time calling, texting and messaging everyone on Facebook but it isn’t the same.

Any advice on how I can improve things (or whether I should just throw in the towel) would be welcome.

Thanks, Emily

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Is admitting to loneliness the last taboo?

It certainly feels so to me. There are plenty of things I freely admit to but somehow confessing that there are times when I feel lonely feels so much harder for some reason.

Maybe that is because I somehow think I 'shouldn't' feel lonely or I ‘ought’ not to feel lonely. After all, I have a wide circle of friends, a loving husband and a son who is still young enough to want to hang out with his mother. I often tell myself that I have no right to feel lonely... and yet there are times when I most definitely do.

What I have come to understand is that loneliness isn’t about the quantity or even the quality of relationships we have. It is subjective. It is caused by feeling emotionally or socially disconnected from those around us and that can happen to any of us.
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